One day a very large man appeared in Roger’s field. He was built like a cheap leather sofa – shiny and with lots of hard, lumpy stuffing. He was dressed in overalls and a wide-brimmed hat, much like a farm worker would wear. His face looked like it knew a lot about causing pain and couldn’t wait to put that knowledge into practice. He quickly spotted Roger standing all alone and thundered towards him.

The very large man made Roger a proposition. Roger would work at the farm that the very large man was from, and Roger would enjoy it. It was implied by the very large man’s manner that if Roger didn’t want to work at the farm, he wouldn’t enjoy much of anything anymore. Roger didn’t like pain at all, so he decided to go with the very large man and see what the farm was like.

At the farm Roger was treated very well. The man who owned the farm was old and kind. He resembled the very large man like a prune resembles a plum. He gave Roger a bright red shirt and clean blue overalls to drape on his stick body and a wide-brimmed straw hat to place on his pumpkin head. Then the old man took Roger out to a corn field and placed him on a very comfortable stake where he had a splendid view of the entire crop surrounding him and the hills in the distance.

Roger was elated with all of this and thanked the old man profusely. He asked what he could possibly do to repay all this kindness. The old man just smiled and told him that all he had to do was scare the crows away.

Roger was suddenly troubled. He didn’t like the idea of being mean to the crows and scaring them away. He had always liked the crows and their stories of far away places. It didn’t seem right to him that he had to scare off these creatures he considered friends. Still, the old man had done so much to make him comfortable, and Roger himself knew so little about things. Perhaps he should just do what the old man said and not trouble himself thinking about it. It was still with some measure of reluctance that he agreed to scare the crows away.

Unfortunately for Roger, he had a very outspoken seed inside his pumpkin head. The seed said that it was wrong for him to frighten the crows away from a meal they might sorely need, something which Roger had been trying to forget. Whenever Roger sent a crow flapping away in fear the seed reminded him how hungry it must be. Whenever Roger tried to enjoy the comfortable stake he was perched on or the view of the corn field the seed reminded him that he had acquired these privileges through unkind acts. In this manner the seed berated Roger night and day, and Roger felt miserable.

Some time passed with Roger feeling worse and worse every day. He knew the seed in his pumpkin head was right and what he was doing was wrong, but he didn’t want to give up his nice new clothes or his straw hat or the corn field. Then one day a very hungry looking crow landed in the corn field.

The crow asked Roger if she might please have something to eat. She said she had flown a very far distance with no food and felt like she couldn’t go on. Roger sighed. He didn’t want to feel this way anymore. Even though he had new clothes, a hat, and a field of corn to look at, he just couldn’t enjoy it anymore.

Roger grabbed some corn, jumped off his very comfortable stake, and let the crow eat her fill. She left with hardly a word of thanks, but Roger didn’t mind. He was done with the farm. He just wanted to go back to his old, deserted field and live as happily as he used to.

Unfortunately as he was leaving Roger ran into the very large man. The very large man wanted to know why Roger wasn’t in the corn field scaring the crows and was very displeased to learn Roger intended to leave the farm for good. Roger would not be intimidated. He said he had made up his mind for good and no threats the very large man could make would change it.

The very large man decided to save his threats. Instead he knocked Roger’s pumpkin head clean off his wooden shoulders, then picked up his body made of sticks and broke it cleanly in half.

Though Roger’s body was broken, his pumpkin head was completely undamaged. He found himself feeling sorry for the very large man. Roger knew what he must be feeling as he stomped towards the farmhouse. He hoped someday the very large man would realize that that was no way to live.

The next day a small boy found Roger’s pumpkin head and made it into a jack-o-lantern.

Emo goth guitarist Cecil dreams of being a glam rock icon. His girlfriend Rosa, who’s totally into the glam thing herself, encourages Cecil in his dream. But Cecil spends much of his time moping about how cowardly he is for not standing up to his band, The Red Wings. Things come to a head when the band’s leader, King Baron (pick a title, dude) makes Cecil join him in crashing a party thrown by dork rock legends, Mysidia. Cecil questions King Barons actions, and is thrown out of the band.

After spending a week on a wicked bender, Cecil awakes to find himself outside Mysidia’s pad with the mother and father of all headaches. At first the members of Mysidia are suspicious, but Cecil’s apology to them is so sincere they decide to forgive him. They tell him that The Red Wings have changed their name to Archfiends and got a new lead guitarist named Golbez, who is so fucking sick, yo, that Cecil can’t compare. Since he can’t beat Golbez at his own game, Cecil decides he has to rock a new style.

In order to shed his emo goth outlook on life, Cecil must seek a spiritual epiphany. So he travels to the mountains, and there he meets the ghost of David Bowie. Bowie gives him a wicked glam makover, and Cecil returns to civilization in triumph. But he’s shocked to discover that battle of the bands is only three weeks away!

Cecil immediately starts recruiting members for his new band, Enterprise. Rosa volunteers out of love for Cecil, but he’s hesitant. However she totally wows him with her smoking keyboard skills, so she’s in. Next they grab Rydia, who’s a little shy but has an outstanding voice. Edge, one of the best drummers in town, wants to get all up in Rydia’s junk, so he drops his current group and signs up with Cecil. Finally, Cecil manages to steal his best friend Kain from The Red Wings. Kain still wears his goth rags, but since he’s awesome on the bass Cecil lets him be the black sheep.

Battle of the Bands finally arrives. The members of Enterprise have been practicing practically 24/7, and they are at the top of their game. But Golbez wants to start some backstage drama with Cecil. After a lengthy shouting match, wise old stage manager FuSoYa reveals that Cecil and Golbez are actually long lost brothers! The brothers make up just as a new band takes the stage: The Lunarians, with front man Zemus. They launch into a song which totally rocks the fucking faces off the audience, and when they are done everyone already considers them the winner.

Cecil doesn’t want to give up though, and when Enterprise comes up, Golbez appears for a totally face melting guitar duet with Cecil. Their brotherly love manages to create something so beautiful that the world is filled with a deep longing for peace and love. We’re talking some Wyld Stallyns shit here. And so Cecil wins Battle of the Bands and saves the world.